top of page

Continuing the Journey: From People-Pleasing to Purpose-Driven Living

In a previous blog, I shared how growing up, I learned the importance of being caring, considerate, and kind—values that shaped my early life and career. However, as life progressed -balancing work, study, family, and the curveballs life throws—I found that constantly saying yes to others, or people-pleasing, became unsustainable. Prioritising the needs of others over my own led to emotional and physical exhaustion. Something had to change.









From People-Pleasing to Purpose: Shifting Focus

As I delved deeper into this pattern, I came to a crucial realisation: I had been prioritising people over my purpose. People-pleasing often comes from a fear of rejection or the need for approval, which drives us to place others’ needs above our own well-being. While caring for others is important, it’s vital to distinguish between doing so out of genuine desire versus a sense of obligation or fear of conflict.


For me, this was a pivotal shift. I recognised that my purpose—what truly motivates and fulfils me - was being overshadowed by my efforts to maintain harmony and avoid disappointing others. This awareness opened the door to making better choices that served not just the people around me but, more importantly, myself.


Loyalty to People vs. Loyalty to Purpose

There’s often a tension between staying loyal to the people in our lives and staying loyal to our purpose. When we are constantly driven by external pressures and the need to please, we risk losing sight of our personal mission. However, by becoming aware of this dynamic, we can start making choices that align more closely with our values and long-term well-being.

Being loyal to people doesn’t mean saying yes to everything or bending to everyone’s expectations. It means being honest about our capacity and recognising when we need to prioritise our own growth and well-being. Sometimes, this means making difficult decisions—like stepping back from relationships that drain us or setting boundaries that preserve our energy. In these moments, choosing our purpose over people doesn’t mean we’re abandoning those we care about, but rather that we’re ensuring we can show up in a healthier, more present way.


Awareness as a Tool for Better Choices

When we understand the difference between people-pleasing and living with purpose, we empower ourselves to make more thoughtful choices. Instead of overcommitting and running ourselves ragged trying to meet everyone’s expectations, we can pause and ask ourselves, Is this aligned with my values? Will this serve my long-term well-being?


This shift in awareness helps us break free from the cycle of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm that often accompanies people-pleasing. By focusing on purpose rather than just people, we take control of our lives, creating space for deeper fulfilment and personal growth.


Evolving Relationships and Reconnecting with Purpose

Now, instead of being guided by a sense of obligation to please others, I focus on living in alignment with my values and purpose. This has allowed me to cultivate healthier, more authentic relationships. While I still care deeply for the people in my life, I’ve found that when I prioritise my purpose, my relationships evolve in ways that support my personal growth rather than drain my energy.


Understanding the balance between people and purpose has been transformative. By making choices grounded in my values, I’ve reduced my anxiety and stress, and have embraced a more fulfilling, balanced life. When we stay loyal to our purpose, we can show up as our best selves -both for others and for ourselves.


If you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs ahead of your own, it might be time to pause and reflect. Are your choices serving your values and well-being, or are they driven by a need to please? Breaking free from people-pleasing and aligning with your purpose is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.


At Pause You Counselling, we’re here to help you find balance, set healthy boundaries, and reconnect with your purpose. Book a session today to start making empowered choices that nurture your well-being and create space for the life you truly want.







Like to learn more?


bottom of page