Rewriting the Anxiety Story: From Stress to Strength

Rewriting the Anxiety Story: From Stress to Strength

Anxiety can feel different for everyone. For some, it shows up as a racing heart or a restless mind. For others, it’s a quiet sense of dread or constant overthinking. At its core, anxiety is a response to fear - but what if it’s not the enemy? What if, instead of something to fight against, anxiety is trying to help us?

In this blog, we’ll explore both sides of anxiety: the ways it can interfere with daily life, and the ways it can offer insight, growth, and even strength. With curiosity and the right tools, anxiety doesn’t have to control us - it can guide us.

What Is Anxiety?

Worry and stress are part of being human. They show up in response to life’s pressures - work, relationships, health, and uncertainty. But when these feelings linger and start to impact your daily life, they may signal something more: anxiety. Anxiety is a state of arousal and feels difficult to calm down. We may feel threatened whether perceived or imagined.

It’s important to know that anxiety is different from depression. While anxiety often feels activating and intense, depression is more deactivating - like a heavy fog that brings low energy, disconnection, or emotional numbness.

When Does Anxiety Become a Problem?

Anxiety can move from manageable to disruptive.

• It leads to persistent overwhelm or distress

• It keeps you awake at night

• You avoid people or situations you once enjoyed

• It creates barriers in your personal, professional, or social life

How Anxiety Can Show Up

Physically:

• Shortness of breath

• Increased heart rate

• Nausea

• Sweaty palms

• Sleep difficulties

Mentally & Emotionally:

• Persistent worry or dread about everyday situations

• Trouble focusing or completing tasks

• Feeling detached from others or emotionally numb

  
  

  By noticing how anxiety shows up in your body and mind, you begin to build awareness - and from there, you can learn to respond with care and curiosity, rather than fear or avoidance.

What Is Anxiety Trying to Tell Us?

Anxiety is a natural response to perceived danger. It’s part of your survival system, designed to help you react quickly to threats. But in today’s world, the ‘threats’ we face are often emotional or psychological - like fear of failure, rejection, or not being good enough. We’re not trying to escape imminent danger in the wild; instead, we’re navigating the complexities of modern life, where our minds perceive emotional discomfort as something just as urgent

Instead of ignoring or pushing anxiety away, we can start to ask: What is this feeling trying to tell me? Is there something here I need to listen to, something I need to prepare for or take care of?

The goal is not to avoid anxiety - but to move forward with it by your side.

The Helpful Side of Anxiety

When understood and managed well, anxiety can:

• Heighten your awareness and help you stay alert

• Motivate you to prepare or take action

• Help you clarify your values (we often feel anxious about what we care about most)

• Encourage reflection and growth

6 Helpful Steps to Support Anxiety

1. Challenge Your Thoughts (CBT):

   Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) helps you explore whether your thoughts reflect reality. Ask: Is this threat real? This involves stepping back, noticing your thoughts and physical sensations, and looking at them from a broader perspective. With support from a therapist, you can learn to reframe unhelpful thinking patterns.

2. Notice Your Language:

   A 2024 study from Maria Grzegorzewska University found a strong link between anxiety, depression, and negative language use. Watch for black-and-white words like “always”, “never”, or “hopeless.” These patterns can feed anxiety and perfectionism. The first step? Notice them. Then gently shift to more balanced, compassionate language.

3. Remember: Thoughts ≠ Truth:

   Your thoughts are not facts. They’re stories the mind creates—and not all of them are helpful. Learning to unhook from overthinking allows space for more clarity and calm. You can read more about this in my recent blog, Struggling With Overthinking: A Guide To Better Manage Your Mind.

4. Speak to Yourself with Compassion:

   Treat yourself as you would a friend. Self-compassion breaks the cycle of self-criticism and rumination. When a friend messes up, feels overwhelmed, or is struggling, you don’t usually criticise them or tell them to just “get over it.” You’d probably say something like, "That sounds hard. I'm here for you. It's okay to feel this way." Self-compassion is saying those same kinds of things to yourself. It helps soothe anxiety by regulating emotions and foster a sense of inner safety. It takes practice!

5. Look at the Bigger Picture:

   In addition to therapy, there are practical areas worth checking in on:

   1. Are you getting enough quality sleep?

   2. Are you drinking more caffeine or using screens late at night?

   3. Have there been recent changes in your hormones or physical health? If you’ve gained weight or are experiencing symptoms of menopause, for instance, a visit to your GP can be a helpful first step.

   4. Once these areas are supported, therapy can then target thinking patterns and behavioural strategies more effectively.

6. Slow Down

   Slowing down gives you a chance to observe your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations instead of being swept up in them. When everything feels urgent, we often react automatically. A slower pace allows space to respond rather than react—whether it’s taking a breath, setting a boundary, or shifting perspective. Try slowing down physically, walk more slowly than usual and see if it influences your feelings of anxiety.

Learning to Work with Anxiety

Rolling with anxiety in therapy refers to a process of accepting and managing anxiety rather than fighting against it, focusing on creating space for feelings and allowing them to pass instead of trying to suppress them - we are not fighting off an elephant here, just our very active imagination! The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety altogether. The goal is to develop a relationship with it - one where it doesn’t control your decisions or dominate your day, but where it can offer insight when needed.

Here are a few ways to begin working with anxiety:

• Pause and get curious: Rather than reacting immediately, ask yourself what the anxiety might be pointing to.

• Name the fear: Putting your fears into words can reduce their intensity and help you understand what’s really going on.

• Notice your body: Anxiety shows up physically acknowledging your body’s signals (like racing heart or tight chest) helps you self-soothe.

• Use values as a compass: Sometimes anxiety arises when you’re not living in alignment with your values—let it be a nudge back to what matters most.

A New Perspective

Anxiety is part of being human. When we stop trying to fight or fix it, we can start learning from it. It can be a powerful teacher - guiding us toward growth, deeper understanding, and a more grounded sense of self. Anxiety doesn’t have to control you. When you learn to listen to it, understand it, and support yourself through it, you can transform your relationship with it. The goal is not to avoid anxiety - but to move forward with it by your side.

Corrie x

References

Kaźmierczak, I., Jakubowska, A., Pietraszkiewicz, A., Zajenkowska, A., Lacko, D., Wawer, A., & Sarzyńska-Wawer, J. (2024). Natural language sentiment as an indicator of depression and anxiety symptoms: A longitudinal mixed methods study. Cognition and Emotion, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2024.2351952