What If Making Decisions Didn’t Feel So Stressful?

Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night, running through every possible option in your mind about an upcoming decision? The more we analyse the pros and cons, the muddier things seem to get. It’s counterintuitive really - we’re working so hard to find clarity yet somehow it slips further away the more we chase it.

Searching for the "Right" Decision

We spend so much time caught up in trying to make the ‘right’ decision, but honestly, without a crystal ball, how could we ever really know? Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer puts it beautifully: “It’s not about making the right decision, but making the decision right.”

We tell ourselves that if we just choose correctly, everything else will fall neatly into place. But life doesn’t work like that, it doesn’t come with spoilers or guarantees. Simply, we can not control those aspects of life that are external to us.

Chasing Certainty (and Why It Never Works)

When we agonise over choices, what we’re often craving is certainty, the soothing reassurance that things will turn out okay. But certainty is a bit of an illusion, isn’t it? We can’t possibly predict how people will grow, what new paths will present, or how our future selves will feel about today’s choice. What we can control is how we show up once we’ve made the decision, and how we keep choosing to make it right.

From "What If" to "What Now"

Hmm…so, once a decision is made, your energy shifts from ‘what if’ to ‘what now’. We step outside of our thoughts into action. This is where we begin shaping the outcome. Heads-up, some faith that, “everything will work out in the end” (declaring this mantra was borrowed from a client with their permission) is required. If we step into a decision with this belief we have faith that we will handle whatever comes our way — "I can handle it" rather than trying to predict all of the things that could go wrong.

Every Decision Is a Doorway

If we take on this approach every decision becomes a doorway to learning, not a final exam with one correct answer, right and wrong, good and bad. When we stop trying to get it right, we free ourselves to actually live and to make choices that align with our values, not just our fears. The most powerful decisions are the ones we keep tending to, shaping, nurturing, and learning from. We make them right no matter.

When You Feel Stuck

Next time you’re stuck in decision paralysis, try this:

• Take a breath.

• Ask yourself, “What choice feels most aligned with who I want to be?”

• Then trust that, whatever unfolds, you’ll keep making it right, step by step—"It'll work out".

Some Final Tips

• Commit fully by not looking back with one foot in the “what if” camp. It’s all about moving forward.

• Adjust as you go by remaining flexible as new information presents.

• Find meaning in challenges faced by asking yourself, “What is this teaching me?” rather than “I wish I'd make a different decision?”

• Being kind to yourself even if things don’t go as plan. Self-compassion turns regret into growth, which in fact is what Positive Psychology is all about. Respond to yourself as you would a friend in the same situation.

Long Story Short

At the end of the day, decision-making isn’t about finding the one perfect choice, it’s about what you do next. Each decision is simply the start of a new path, not a test you can fail. When you commit, stay curious, and treat every outcome as a chance to learn, even the “wrong” turn can become part of getting it right.

So, take a breath, trust yourself, and keep moving forward.

Corrie xo