The end of the year can be a whirlwind. At work, deadlines pile up, and the pressure to “finish strong” is at an all-time high. At home, kids eagerly announce their Christmas wish lists, and the buzz of the season grows louder with every passing day. Add in the perfectly curated holiday scenes we scroll through on social media, and it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. Yesterday I received a handmade card with the most heartfelt message from a dear friend, one of those friends you look forward to seeing and makes you feel energised. It made me pause for a moment and ask myself: Does the way I celebrate Christmas truly align with my values?
The Weight of Expectations
Many of us feel the heavy expectations of the holiday season more acutely this time of year. The pressure to attend every party, buy the perfect gifts, and create magical moments for our families can leave us exhausted and disconnected from the joy we’re supposed to be celebrating.
Some of these expectations come from social media, with its endless stream of Pinterest-worthy trees, elaborate family traditions, and extravagant gift hauls. Others may come from our families of origin—traditions we’ve inherited without questioning whether they still work for us.
And then there’s the inner pressure: the pull of people-pleasing and perfectionism. Maybe you say “yes” to every holiday invitation because you don’t want to disappoint anyone, or you spend hours agonizing over gifts because you’re afraid they won’t be “good enough.” Perhaps you push yourself to create a picture-perfect holiday for your family, even if it leaves you feeling overwhelmed and burned out.
Reflecting on Your Values
The holiday season offers a unique opportunity to reassess. What do you value most? Is it connection, simplicity, joy, giving back, or perhaps taking time to recharge? Whatever it is, does your current way of celebrating Christmas reflect those values? If not, this might be the perfect time to take a step back and think about what truly works for you and your family. Here are a few questions to guide your reflection:
What traditions bring me joy, and which ones feel like obligations?
Am I spending time with people who lift me up or out of a sense of duty?
How much do I care about gifts, and could I approach giving differently?
What moments do I want my family to remember?
Letting Go of People-Pleasing and Perfectionism
It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to please everyone during the holidays. Maybe you take on the responsibility of organising every event, hosting extended family, or meeting unrealistic expectations because you feel it’s your role. Or perhaps you strive for perfection in every detail—decorations, food, gifts, even your own appearance—because you want to create the “perfect” Christmas.
But here’s the truth: it’s okay not to get everything right. You don’t have to do it all. Letting go of the need to please everyone and releasing the grip of perfectionism doesn’t make you less caring—it makes you more authentic. And an authentic Christmas, however imperfect, is often the most memorable and meaningful.
What if you allowed yourself to:
Say “no” to a commitment that feels draining?
Let the house be a little messy while you relax with your family?
Give a heartfelt but simple gift instead of searching endlessly for the “perfect” one?
Redefining Your Christmas
If your current approach to the holidays doesn’t align with your values, what would happen if you gave yourself permission to make changes? Maybe it means scaling back on gift-giving, skipping a stressful event, or starting a new tradition that feels more meaningful. For example:
Instead of buying dozens of presents, could you exchange experiences or heartfelt, homemade gifts?
Could you simplify your holiday menu and spend more time relaxing with loved ones?
What about saying “no” to events that drain you, making space for quiet moments at home?
Letting Go of Guilt
Changing traditions or saying no to long-held expectations can feel daunting, especially when family or societal pressures loom large. But remember: You don’t owe anyone the “perfect” Christmas. By aligning your holidays with your values, you’re creating a season that feels authentic and fulfilling—not one dictated by external influences.
Your Holiday, Your Way
As you move through this festive season, consider giving yourself the gift of alignment. What would a Christmas that truly reflects your values look like? Whether it’s a cozy, low-key day at home or a lively celebration with close friends, let it be a reflection of you.
And if things don’t go as planned? That’s okay, too. The beauty of the holidays isn’t in perfection—it’s in the moments of connection, joy, and love, however they come. Letting go of people-pleasing and perfectionism can be your first step toward creating a season that feels not just festive, but freeing.
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