Rethinking Christmas: Letting Go of People-Pleasing and Perfectionism

The end of the year can be a whirlwind. At work, deadlines pile up, and the pressure to “finish strong” is at an all-time high. At home, kids eagerly announce their Christmas wish lists, and the buzz of the season grows louder with every passing day. Add in the perfectly curated holiday scenes we scroll through on social media, and it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. Yesterday I received a handmade card with the most heartfelt message from a dear friend, one of those friends you look forward to seeing and makes you feel energised. It made me pause for a moment and ask myself: Does the way I celebrate Christmas truly align with my values?

The Weight of Expectations

Many of us feel the heavy expectations of the holiday season more acutely this time of year. The pressure to attend every party, buy the perfect gifts, and create magical moments for our families can leave us exhausted and disconnected from the joy we’re supposed to be celebrating.

Some of these expectations come from social media, with its endless stream of Pinterest-worthy trees, elaborate family traditions, and extravagant gift hauls. Others may come from our families of origin—traditions we’ve inherited without questioning whether they still work for us.

And then there’s the inner pressure: the pull of people-pleasing and perfectionism. Maybe you say “yes” to every holiday invitation because you don’t want to disappoint anyone, or you spend hours agonizing over gifts because you’re afraid they won’t be “good enough.” Perhaps you push yourself to create a picture-perfect holiday for your family, even if it leaves you feeling overwhelmed and burnt out.

Letting Go of People-Pleasing and Perfectionism

It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to please everyone during the holidays. Perhaps old behaviour patterns are creeping in your pursuit of perfection (validation) or people pleasing (validation). Maybe you take on the responsibility to host Christmas when really you are dreaming of lying on a beach somewhere or simply curling up with a good book.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to do it all. Letting go of the need to please, releasing the grip of perfectionism doesn’t make you less caring, less loving—it makes you more authentic. And an authentic Christmas, however imperfect, is often the most memorable and meaningful. When we stop masking, be a little more vulnerable, a little more ourselves we allow others too also. Let the house be a little messy. Give a heartfelt but simple gift and just maybe we all might enjoy Christmas that little bit more.

If your current approach to the holidays doesn’t align with your values? Maybe it means scaling back on gift-giving, skipping an event that drains you, or starting a new tradition that feels more meaningful like making space for quiet moments at home.

Reflecting on Your Values

The holiday season offers a unique opportunity to reassess. What do you value most? Is it connection, simplicity, joy, giving back, or perhaps taking time to recharge? Whatever it is, does your current way of celebrating Christmas reflect your values? If not, this might be the perfect time to take a step back and reflect on what genuinely work for you. Ask yourself the following few questions, it will only take a minute.

• In the lead up to Christmas, am I overcommitting?

• Can I make space for time-out amongst the business of December?

• What is one thing I could change that would make a difference to how I feel physically and emotionally?

• Am I finding it difficult to set boundaries? Do I need support?

• If I look back on this Christmas in a months time, in a years time what will I find most meaningful?

Your Holiday, Your Way

As you move through this festive season, consider giving yourself the gift of alignment. What would a Christmas that truly reflects your values, your needs, look like? Whether it’s a cozy, low-key day at home or a lively celebration with close friends, let it be a reflection of what matters to you.

And if things don’t go as planned? That’s okay, too. The beauty of the holidays isn’t in perfection—it’s in the moments of connection, joy, and love, however they come. Letting go of people-pleasing and perfectionism can be your first step toward creating a season that feels more like you.

Corrie xo

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